1. With sex, aim for quality over quantity. When spouses don’t get busy regularly, they can lose physical connection.

2. Write about your fights. Researchers believe it’s because the writing group was able to glean new insights about the disagreements or better understand their spouses after they’d reflected about them on their own. Next time you argue with your man, try writing down the details from a neutral standpoint. You might notice something you missed in the heat of the moment.

3. Hug for 2 minutes and kiss for 30 seconds each. Oxytocin, a chemical our bodies release when we touch one another, emotionally connects people. No need to set a timer, but do extend your hugs and kisses longer than you normally would; you’ll feel a new sense of connection.

4. Take a walk together. If you’re trying to decide how you two should handle your daughter’s poor report card, hit the pavement. Not only will the fresh air clear your minds but also the very act of walking in the same direction can help you two feel as though you’re on the same team and want the same result. Physically heading to one place makes you more likely to be mentally in sync; it’s like you’re standing together instead of confronting each other.

5. Sit next to each other at restaurant tables. You may be inclined to take a seat across from your partner, but it’s a more aggressive stance. After all, it’s how you and a prospective employer sit during an interview. Next time you’re out, try grabbing a booth or putting separate chairs at a table side by side. Instead of playing footsie under the table, your man can slide an arm around you or touch your knee, while you can whisper in his ear. It’s a friendlier and much more intimate position.

6. Jot down your guy’s sweet deeds. Maybe he filled up your gas tank without you mentioning it was getting low, or brought you flowers for no good reason. Once a day for a week, secretly write down something your man did that touched you. Many times, especially in long-term relationships, the little things our partners do for us get overlooked, which eventually makes the man resentful. Keeping a list helps you feel grateful for the daily blessings of marriage, and sharing that list at the end of the week with your spouse makes him feel appreciated.

Make an Appointment with Dr. Sharmila Majumdar at the Sexual & Mental Health Clinic, Avis Hospital, Hyderabad.

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