sexual well-being Archives - Dr. Sharmila Majumdar - Sexologist Psychoanalyst in Hyderabad

Few Best Things To Say To A Lady During Sex!

doctorsharmila — Sat, 01 Apr 2017 21:04:37 +0000

Women are verbal at heart, and sexual communication is very important to them. Though what excites them is drastically different from what arouses men. If you can paint a picture with a few choice words, you can turn them on. So it’s in the men’s best interests to learn to say the right things. With that in mind, here are the best things to say to a lady during or before foreplay.
1. I want to give you pleasure- Simple, yet effective. A wonderful way to relax her and reassure her that she made the right decision going to bed with you. Say this right before or during foreplay for maximum effect.
2. You have such a hot, choose a body part she is proud of body- Pick a favorite body part to mention, but make it one you know she’s proud of. That way, there’s no controversy. Women are notorious for being sensitive to clumsy compliments about their bodies, so tread carefully.
3. What are you imagining right now? This will encourage her to talk about her sexual desires and participate in setting the mood. The idea here is to let her release any bottled-up fantasies that she would otherwise not mention.
4. This feels so good. I love it when you hug me, kiss me, etc. Again, this is meant to boost her comfort level with a little positive feedback. And if she knows you like something, perhaps she’ll take note for future reference.
5. Your skin is so soft and smooth. Ladies spend a lot of time rubbing things on their bodies after a shower. It’s time men appreciated this ritual with a well-placed compliment. Because this is a seductive remark, it’s best to say it before sex.
6. I want to kiss you all over. Women love foreplay and they love to be pampered. What you’re telling her is that you love and appreciate all of her. It’s very comforting to hear.
7. I’ve never felt this good before. Women love to be singled out as special, and unique. If she does something to you in bed that has never been done so pleasurably before, tell her sincerely.
8. You’re so hot!” Straightforward is often the best way to go. And swearing is one way to tell her that you really mean it. Women do respect it.
9. Dirty TalkThere are two ways to talk dirty: aggressive and tame.Aggressive, in which you order her around a bit. You must start small and feed off of her reactions and replies.Tame, in which you comment on her body and things you imagine doing to her without using any derogatory words.

Be sure to gauge how she reacts to what you say and you will have a very happy lady who in turn keeps you happy, that is the power of Sexual communication!!!

Dr. Sharmila Majumdar: M.S. Sexuality, M.Phil Clinical Psychology, PhD Cognitive Behavior Modification, Certified in Treatment Resistant Depression from Mount Sinai School of Medicine, Buffalo, USA

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Significance of Sexual and Mental Health

doctorsharmila — Sat, 18 Mar 2017 18:23:28 +0000

Does a struggle with mental illness mean losing one’s cherished sexuality? No, it certainly doesn’t. But many people struggle far more than necessary because they don’t have the information and support they need to address the challenges that can arise around sexual and mental well-being.

Sex is a matter of mind
We often think of sex as something our bodies are doing, but a lot of our sex life takes place in our brains. It’s important to realize that, for all genders, our thoughts and feelings play a vital role in getting us turned on and keeping us that way.

Anxiety or depression can strongly affect arousal and can definitely ruin the mood sometimes. Anxiety and other related mental health struggles can make it hard to be relaxed enough to have or enjoy sex, overshadowing it with a host of worries or intrusive distractions. When we are very unwell and struggling just to function, sex is rarely at the top of our mind.

The struggle with mental illness in a variety of forms can hurt a person’s self-esteem and make them feel unworthy of sexual attention. For example, a person may have an unrealistic view of their own body and may actively seek to deny or discipline the body as a way of coping. In these cases, it’s important to be critical of the beauty norms we are shown by the media, step away from the practice of measuring or defining ourselves, and to seek to rediscover our love and appreciation for our bodies and our sexual selves.

Substance use may put limitations or restrictions upon one’s sexual interest.
Some drugs can affect your brain in ways that make you less able to feel pleasure from sex for periods of time after their use.Substance use can be a problem when it leads to sexual behaviours one may not feel proud of. Under the influence of drugs, you may do things that you regret, such as having sex with someone you wouldn’t have while sober, or doing things you normally might be uncomfortable with; such as being filmed or photographed during sex, or having sex in public spaces. These personal-boundary transgressions can lead to shame and loss of self-esteem and cause conflict in relationships.

Additionally, addiction or mental health problems like mania may be associated with intentionally seeking risky situations such as having unprotected sex with strangers or seeking ever escalating levels of violence, humiliation, and bodily harm (both in real life and in the pornography one is consuming). This can impact a person’s ability to find interest in having sex with their steady partner, because the sought-after thrill or risk is no longer present.

When you become an ally to your partner and deepen your communication, your sex life is certain to benefit. Great sex is often based on great connection, and by working on your communication you are nurturing that connection.we are all entitled to knowledge about our sexuality and that good scientific knowledge about sex is necessary for us to be able to make informed sexual choices. By educating ourselves, whether we are young or old, we can make sex better for everyone.

We all have a right to enjoy and appreciate our sexuality. Do your best to not let mental illness steal that away from you and the ones you love!

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16 Tips to Enjoy a Fulfilling Sexual Life

doctorsharmila — Sat, 18 Mar 2017 18:08:09 +0000

1. Find the right time to talk – talk to your partner, avoid criticizing and confide in your partner the changes in your body. Be honest; don’t fake an orgasm!
2. Educate yourself – give yourself some time, as we age our sexual responses slow down. Our partner can help by setting up a free calm setting for love making. You should also understand the physical changes occurring in your body, which means you will take more time to get aroused.
3. Use lubrication which are water based.
4. Maintain physical intimacy by hugging, cuddling, kissing even if you do not have sex. It helps in physical & mental bonding to grown stronger.
5. Practice touching – that’s what sensate focus is all about. Using your senses of touch, smell, hearing, sight, and talking, you can give and receive feedback as to which touch is more pleasurable to you.
6. Try different positions for change and adventure.
7. Write down your fantasies and enact them. If you are too shy email them to your partner.
8. Strengthen your pelvic muscles by doing kegel exercises, to enjoy sex more.
9. Try to relax before coitus, like go out for dinner or watch a movie together.
10. Maintain good health – your sexual well-being goes hand in hand with your physical, mental and emotional well-being. Therefore the same habits will keep your sexual life in top shape should you take care of your health.
11. Don’t smoke – it leads to peripheral vascular disorder which affect blood flow to the penis and clitoris.
12. Use alcohol in moderation – Too much alcohol will kill the performance but gives desire.
13. Eat right as it keeps you in shape and away from cardiovascular disorder, cholesterol etc. Keep your body image positive which increases the libido.
14. Use your genitals or lose it – it is as simple as that.
15. Be sexual, be adventurous, be creative, be playful, leave notes in your partner pockets and purses, send flirty texts.
16. Most importantly be romantic. The most important tool that you are armed with is your attitude towards sexuality. Armed with good information and positive outlook you will be able to lead a fulfilling sexual life.

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